Individuals develop avoidant behaviors as a means of emotional escape from emotional pain. It's not rocket science! For many people avoidant behaviors are more easy to utilize because we simply don't like ourselves. Life has taught us that we are unworthy, ugly, failures, violent, bad and on and on! If we want to affect change and to encourage growth in our patients, family and friends we need to DISCOVER THE GOOD!
No matter how damaged we have become we can find our goodness and in finding our goodness we change---for the better! The reality is that psychologists don't know how to fix people and there are no easy cures but if you can start to discover the goodness you have then change starts to come. If you are really distressed simply do something fun; play soccer in a wide open field (just kick it around), sing in the shower, or listen to a comic that makes you giggle. Sounds simple but it works! The truth is we will always have hurt in our lives but if you find the good, even a small piece, you will find some hope and begin to change.
TJS
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