Often it is only when people suddenly
feel they are losing their partner that they realize how much they love them.
Then they cling on even tighter. But the more they grasp, the more the other
person escapes them, and the more fragile the relationship
becomes.
So often we want happiness, but the
very way we pursue it is so clumsy and unskillful that it brings only more
sorrow. Usually we assume we must grasp in order to have that something that
will ensure our happiness. We ask ourselves: “How can we possibly enjoy anything
if we cannot own it?” How often attachment is mistaken for
love!
Even when the relationship is a good
one, love can be spoiled by attachment with its insecurity, possessiveness, and
pride; and then when love is gone, all you have left to show for it are the
“souvenirs” of love, the scars of attachment. -Rigpa
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