I have been a marriage and family therapist for years. I have also done hundreds of hours of pre-marital counselling and I still don't have the answer!!! I have been asked the question a thousand times; how often should we have sex? Well first of all let's assume you have a healthy safe and consensual relationship. That must be the starting point. Second, sex is one of our natural and healthy human drives. Sex should be fun, caring and creative. Be sensitive to your partners history, feelings and questions. Listen and try to understand each other then have fun.
Below this blog is a comment button---push it and leave your opinion. I have clients who are sad because they never have sex, I have some couples who have sex twice a year and I have clients that have sex five times each week. Clinically the only correct answer is that healthy sex is necessary for a healthy marriage. I recommend three times each week. Again, it must be consensual and should include ideas, opinions and thoughtful caring from both of the parties involved. You should also have fun. Sex in a committed caring relationship is wonderful. Leave a comment and share your opinion. How often do you have sex?
Not too many people would share their thoughts on this one... Simply put, people in love always want to do it, whenever possibility presents itself. If they don't feel this way anymore - relationship is over. It's just a matter of time, but they'll fall apart sooner or later.
ReplyDeleteOf course, psychologists can dance around this one forever, discuss it over and over, explain and bring up different theories and excuses. Good luck with that!
Thanks for your thoughts. The struggle is that many people who are in love report that they are sexually unhappy. What would you say to them! Peace. Todd
ReplyDeleteI'd say that love is the most powerful force in the world. If people are in LOVE, sexual happiness usually comes automatically. If the reason to be together is other than love, bad things are going to happen to the passion in sexual department.
ReplyDeleteThe answer is to fall in love as soon as possible! You just have to be a man of decision.
I agree with your idea but how about all those married people out there who love thier partner and can't leave. I have dozens of clients who are not happy with their sexual life but don't want to leave. I recently saw a play called, Sexy Laundry that did a wonderful job of describing the ebb and flow of marriage. The key is to start communicating. Talk, walk and listen. Peace. Todd
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