Love and Will

In 1969 Rollo May believed he was living in an age of instant sex where lasting love had vanished. May's book is an argument to put love and sex back together. Has anything changed? Our schools and campuses are bombarded with images of false sexuality and alcohol. Do we care enough to listen to our lives and discover the values that are guiding us? TJS

"In a world where numbers inexorably take over as our means of identification, like flowing lava threatening to suffocate and fossilize all breathing life in its path; in a world where 'normality' is defined as keeping your cool; where sex is so available that the only way to preserve any inner center is to have intercourse without committing yourself--in such a schizoid world, which young people experience more directly since they have not had time to build up the defenses which dull the senses of their elders, it is not surprising that will and love have become increasingly problematic and even, as some people believe, impossible of achievement." (Love and Will, 1969, p. 32)

How often should you have sex? Leave a comment!!!

I have been a marriage and family therapist for years. I have also done hundreds of hours of pre-marital counselling and I still don't have the answer!!! I have been asked the question a thousand times; how often should we have sex? Well first of all let's assume you have a healthy safe and consensual relationship. That must be the starting point. Second, sex is one of our natural and healthy human drives. Sex should be fun, caring and creative. Be sensitive to your partners history, feelings and questions. Listen and try to understand each other then have fun.

Below this blog is a comment button---push it and leave your opinion. I have clients who are sad because they never have sex, I have some couples who have sex twice a year and I have clients that have sex five times each week. Clinically the only correct answer is that healthy sex is necessary for a healthy marriage. I recommend three times each week. Again, it must be consensual and should include ideas, opinions and thoughtful caring from both of the parties involved. You should also have fun. Sex in a committed caring relationship is wonderful. Leave a comment and share your opinion. How often do you have sex?