The key to wise thought is to sense the energy state behind the thought.  If we pay attention, we will notice that certain thoughts are produced by fear and the small sense of self.  With them will be clinging, rigidity, unworthiness, defensiveness, aggression, or anxiety.  We can sense their effect on the heart and the body.  When we notice this suffering we can relax, breathe, loosen the identification.  With this awareness the mind will become more open and malleable,  with this pause we return to our true inner nature.  Now we can think, imagine, and plan, but from a state of ease and benevolence.  It's that simple. 
                                                                                                        ---Jack Kornfield, The Wise Heart

Attachment

Often it is only when people suddenly feel they are losing their partner that they realize how much they love them. Then they cling on even tighter. But the more they grasp, the more the other person escapes them, and the more fragile the relationship becomes.

So often we want happiness, but the very way we pursue it is so clumsy and unskillful that it brings only more sorrow. Usually we assume we must grasp in order to have that something that will ensure our happiness. We ask ourselves: “How can we possibly enjoy anything if we cannot own it?” How often attachment is mistaken for love!

Even when the relationship is a good one, love can be spoiled by attachment with its insecurity, possessiveness, and pride; and then when love is gone, all you have left to show for it are the “souvenirs” of love, the scars of attachment.     -Rigpa

Attachment

Often it is only when people suddenly feel they are losing their partner that they realize how much they love them. Then they cling on even tighter. But the more they grasp, the more the other person escapes them, and the more fragile the relationship becomes.

So often we want happiness, but the very way we pursue it is so clumsy and unskillful that it brings only more sorrow. Usually we assume we must grasp in order to have that something that will ensure our happiness. We ask ourselves: “How can we possibly enjoy anything if we cannot own it?” How often attachment is mistaken for love!

Even when the relationship is a good one, love can be spoiled by attachment with its insecurity, possessiveness, and pride; and then when love is gone, all you have left to show for it are the “souvenirs” of love, the scars of attachment.

-Rigpa